So rather than wake a sleeping baby (and notice he's doing it right - on his back - that doesn't always happen), I'll update.
Things have been a little rough lately. Early on, I decided this blog was a way for me to document our little family life, and mostly used it to remember the good times, but some not so good and happy days happen, too, and while I don't want to remember them, I feel there might be something to learn. I also get a better appreciation of days like today, when things are falling into place a little better.
On Tuesday, I had both boys home with me, and I "woke up" exhausted. Luke and I managed to take a morning nap while Preston watched Sesame Street, but by the time the show was over, Preston was in a bad mood. I couldn't tell you why, but he was. We ate lunch, where he demanded a million more mini hotdogs instead of applesauce or fruit or anything even remotely good for him. And then, apparently without really thinking it through, I decided that Preston needed a haircut RIGHT THEN. So we went. And it was a DISASTER from start to finish. He wouldn't sit in the seat, he threw and epic tantrum, got hair everywhere, including in his gooey, drool filled, freaking out mouth, and managed to get me really angry. The rest of the afternoon was much of the same. We both finally calmed down and went for a long walk, but when we got home he refused to come inside. After I dragged him in, he decided it was ok for him to just leave again, which just got me even more angry. I forget how it all played out after that, because none of it was good. But eventually he announced that he was going to go play upstairs "by himself," and I was hugely relieved. I didn't hear anything upstairs, and when I came up to check on him he was sound asleep in my bed. And stayed like that for 3 hours... through dinner. I let him. He needed it.
The rest of the night wasn't so bad, except he went to bed super late.
But it was a rough day, and I felt like a failure of a parent. I did way more yelling that I ever would have allowed myself pre-toddler, and I cried to John that night... and yesterday... and I'm about to cry again just thinking about it.
Luckily Luke doesn't do much.
In trying to analyze our seemingly psycho 3 year old, we came to the obvious conclusion that he is "adjusting" to having a new baby around, and seeking more attention in whatever way he can. Clearly I need to spend more time on him, or focus on him more, but it SO HARD. I'm exhausted, Luke wants to eat every five seconds (and might I add he is a HUGE baby), and I myself am still "adjusting" to having a new baby.
Preston wants everything his own way. He wants to make the rules and the decisions, and he tests me on EVERYTHING. I am trying so hard to not give in, and I think it's helping a little bit, but it also depends on Preston's mood. If he's in a bad mood, there is no cooperation or negotiation. It's just one epic tantrum after another.
So anyway, our whole life isn't happy adventures, but that's what makes the good adventures even better. This morning Preston was much nicer, and he left for school in a happy mood. Tomorrow I have both boys again by myself, so I'm trying to work on a game-plan today to have it go a little smoother.
And now Luke it waking up, so I'm going to go grocery shopping.